By Micki Bare

In a couple of days, my grandma will officially become a nonagenarian. Being only a quadagenerian myself and already feeling weary much of the time, it is difficult to imagine achieving such a milestone. Although, if I do make it, I assume I’ll need lots of naps.

Not that my grandma takes lots of naps. She is actually still quite active.

She participates in creative activities and enjoys social engagements. She still hunts for bargains, and then shares stories of her incredible finds, whenever she has the opportunity to shop.

I am looking forward to her party, though I admit I wasn’t quite sure at first what to get the matriarch of our family. What does one get a 90-year-old mother of five, grandmother of 12, great-grandmother of seven, retired widow who still embraces a full life?

I could have asked her what she wanted, but she would have simply replied, “I have everything I need. You just being here is present enough.”

But I know my grandma. Yes, she has everything she could ever need. And yes, she will be extremely appreciative that I made the trip up to the Northeast for her big day.

However, my grandma still lights up like a child when you place a brightly-wrapped, bow-accessorized gift box in her hands. She loves everything she receives and can’t thank the givers enough.

One of the highlights of the big party will be seeing her eyes gleam as attention and gifts are showered upon her throughout the day.

Grandma has been squeezing the most out of life for as long as I’ve known her. She still likes to try new things, hang out with people and just be silly.

Not all that long ago, at least in terms of a nonagenarian, I wrote about her first kayaking adventure. Back then, she was merely a young octogenarian. She painted her toenails red and sported a bright-blue swimsuit.

She had a blast out on the lake hanging out with three younger generations of outdoorsy family members.

This year, her “new thing” was her Internet debut. My cousin posted the clip, taken with a cell phone that doubles as a video camera, of our grandma dancing with a couple of her sons and a few grandchildren during the Fourth of July picnic.

The clip was promptly forwarded throughout our family, e-trickling down to friends, co-workers and so on.

I guarantee she never traveled quite as fast or far as she did the week after her dancing clip was uploaded onto my cousin’s web page.

The world has changed dramatically just during the lifetime of those of us who are quadagenerians. Video cameras were once bulky and large, we have collections of VHS tapes that we no longer watch and our albums went into storage when we replaced our music libraries with compact discs.

Meanwhile, my grandma has memories that pre-date talking movies and television.

She actually cooked and cleaned for five children without a microwave oven or dishwasher. She had to hand mix her butter substitute by adding a color tablet to a plastic pouch of gooey stuff.

Actually, I believe that was one of my dad’s chores when he was a kid.

It is no wonder grandma regularly affirms that she has all she needs. She is comparing her convenient life in 2009 to the “manual” life during which she grew up and then raised her children.

And what of all the people that had the opportunity to cross her path in those 90 years? She’s had the opportunity to touch and be touched by thousands of lives.

Judging by her bubbly personality, I am confident that she’s met dozens of characters in her time — my grandfather being one of the most special. She has certainly spread lots of joy, as well.

My memories are filled with moments from her big holiday dinners, impromptu fashion shows in the backyard and summer beach excursions. She taught me, and my siblings and cousins, how to play card and board games, how to crochet and knit and how to bake delicious desserts.

So for her gifts, I will begin with a simple bouquet of daisies, because as she will recall, that’s what I gave her mother at her 90th birthday party.

Then I will wrap up a bright-red fire truck that makes lots of noises and flashes lights — she always loved toys like that, but then she raised four boys.

And, since she deserves a little pampering, I’ll get her a gift certificate for her hair and nails.

It is something she would never do for herself without combining a coupon and a special offer — and then only if there was a big event to attend like a family wedding.

Happy 90th, Grandma!
—
Micki Bare is a columnist for the Arkansas News Bureau and the Courier-Tribune in Asheboro, N.C., and author of the book, “Relative Expressions.” She lives in Asheboro with her husband and three children. Her e-mail address is mickibare@inspiredscribe.com.