By Micki Bare

Before you go crazy spending all sorts of money during this weekend’s super-de-duper, rock-bottom — if you have the special coupon and shop before 6 a.m. — holiday sales, you should consider imposing a spending limit.

I realize that when it comes to the little ones, we tend to want go overboard in an effort to make Christmas memorable and exciting. However, at least when it comes to adult gift-giving, less can be so much more.

Spending less on the adults in the family, as long as the “less” comes with a few special rules, can mean a lot more to the giver and receiver than costlier, more traditional gifts. It can also save lots of money, leaving more to spend on the kids or those ridiculously high utility bills that begin appearing in January.

Some of you are hesitant. You are thinking, how does one suddenly impose a spending limit without causing hurt feelings among folks like Aunt Sylvia after years of lavishing one’s loved ones with fancy gifts won during department-store brawls the day after Thanksgiving?

Others of you think you have the system beat because you implement what I call the hat system. I’m referring to all of you who, after consuming enough Thanksgiving dinner to feed a small country, happily put names in a hat.

Then you employ each adult to draw out the name of one family member, for whom he or she must purchase a “nice” gift rather than buy for all the adults in the ever-growing family.

While the hat system is a cost-saving option, I feel it lacks holiday spirit. Wouldn’t it be nice if everyone, even the adults, had lots to open?

To me there is nothing more depressing than a tree decked out in bright ornaments and blinking lights, under which all the presents fit without reaching the lowest bows or encroaching upon most of the square footage of the living room.

Filling up the room with gifts doesn’t have to be expensive. The first rule for implementing a successful less-is-more system is to impose a limit to how much money can be spent on the gifts.

No one is allowed to exceed the limit; however, spending less than the limit is permitted as long as the second, most-important rule is observed: Be creative and thoughtful.

Gift cards are prohibited. Clothing is off limits unless the piece is “vintage” and there is a special meaning attached to it that everyone will understand upon the box being opened by the recipient.

A scarf knitted and then worn by great-grandma when she attended the recipient’s baptism 50 years ago is allowable. A 2-for-$10 scarf scored for 50 percent off on Black Friday is not.

Food items must be homemade and also tied to a special memory or passion of the recipient.

A homemade loaf of a “favorite” bread promised by a sister-in-law over six months ago to someone like Hubby is an acceptable present for such a sister-in-law to give to Hubby.

A tin full of flavored popcorn from the Christmas discount aisle on Dec. 24 is not.

The final rule for the less-is-more system applies to the Christmas gathering, at which time the presents are exchanged.

Some folks like to distribute gifts and then let everyone open everything all at once in a giant free-for-all blitz of paper-ripping and box opening. But the blitz approach is not appropriate for this system.

To get more out of spending less, and to ensure all truly appreciate the thought that went into each purchase, the gift opening process must be slow and deliberate. Each person must take his or her turn opening each individual gift one at a time.

Waiting your turn builds suspense, which is always fun. Thoughts cross your mind, such as, “Wow, that’s really neat. I wonder what she thought of for my present,” or, “If he liked that one, wait until he sees what I found for him!”

Watching as each gift is revealed allows for the true meaning to be fully experienced. Behind-the-gift stories can be shared as the giver explains what triggered the idea for the present.

Lots of reminiscing is inevitably sparked, which causes spontaneous family bonding.

Be forewarned, though, that many emotions can be unleashed during the process. Don’t be surprised if your living room fills with laughter, a few tears and lots of love.

Our limit this year is $20 and I’ve already got all sorts of ideas for Hubby, Ma and a few other adult relatives.

I plan to visit antique stores and specialty shops as well as spend some time in the kitchen making a few family favorites filled with sugar, butter and lots of warm memories.
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Micki Bare is a columnist for the Arkansas News Bureau and the Courier-Tribune in Asheboro, N.C., and author of the book, “Relative Expressions.” She lives in Asheboro with her husband and three children. Her e-mail address is mickibare@inspiredscribe.com.