By Harry King
LITTLE ROCK — Drat, noise nirvana in Arkansas foiled by the fine print.
In early June, the Southeastern Conference presidents appeared to open the door for the Razorbacks’ football program and others to get into the noise-making business. The presidents decided on a one-year experiment to allow institutionally controlled artificial noisemakers to be used before and after games, at halftime and during timeouts. The decision was about permitting Mississippi State fans to openly bring their beloved cowbells to games instead of smuggling them into the stadium.
So, why not a slew of red vuvuzelas at Arkansas games? Disguise them as 39-inch hog snouts and toot away to produce the most irritating buzz in sports.
Assuredly, the price would be right at the large grocery chain in the United Kingdom that ordered 25,000 horns before England’s World Cup game against Algeria. Prior to that, Sainsburys sold 22,000 red vuvuzelas in 12 hours. But, England didn’t score on Algeria, failed to get out of group play, and the red horns were overstocked.
Before urging the Razorback Foundation to invest $100,000 — free shipping and handling probably comes with an order of 20,000 — checking with the SEC office was the proper precaution.
The question from Arkansas was not the first time the SEC had been asked about the obnoxious noisemakers. Charles Bloom, associate commissioner of the SEC, told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution that the league policy “allows for ‘traditional’ artificial noisemakers …”
“I do not believe a vuvuzela is tied traditionally into one of our institutions,” he said.
In Starkville, the cowbell thing goes back decades. Starkville native Mark Keenum, who became MSU president less than two years ago, said recently that he remembered the personal pride he felt when he received his first cowbell from his father at age 9.
Hand-me-down vuvuzelas probably wouldn’t evoke the same emotion.
Although irritating, the cowbells haven’t intimidated MSU’s opponents. Since Arkansas joined the SEC in 1992, MSU has been above .500 in league play three times. During the past decade, the Bulldogs’ best SEC record was 4-4 on two occasions and the W-L total was 20-60.
Subbing blocking and tackling for vuvuzelas, Arkansas has an excellent opportunity to improve on its in-state record that has been barely average for the past decade.
Since 2000, the Razorbacks are 20-20 against SEC opponents in Fayetteville and Little Rock. That includes an encouraging 3-1 record in Bobby Petrino’s second year, highlighted by a 21-point victory over an Auburn team that was in the top 20 at the time.
That 44-23 decision is one of only eight in-state victories over ranked teams in the past 10 years. During that time, the Razorbacks have lost 13 in-state games to teams in the top 25, including seventh-ranked Texas in 2004 and sixth-ranked USC in 2006.
This fall, they will face at least one, and maybe two, ranked teams inside the state borders. Alabama will be No. 1 unless it slips up against Penn State. Even then, the Crimson Tide will be in the top 10.
At the end of the season, LSU is likely to be inside the top 25. Splitting with Alabama and LSU is essential if the Razorbacks are going to come close to expectations.
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Harry King is sports columnist for Stephens Media’s Arkansas News Bureau. His e-mail address is hking@arkansasnews.com.
