By John Brummett

A race that could hardly get worse has gotten worse.

John Boozman and Blanche Lincoln, lacking much else, are competing to exploit the football Razorbacks.

Our Saturday gladiators remain undefeated after one entire game. They rallied from an 0-3 deficit to have their way, pretty much, with a Tennessee equivalent of Arkansas Tech.

Lincoln rented a plane to fly a message banner over Razorback Stadium on Saturday. This wasn’t even an original thought. People opposed to Lincoln flew planes over stadiums last year pulling banners calling for her firing as the U.S. senator.

This time a plane soared above the jam-packed, red-clad, pig-hatted thousands to declare “Blanche says Ryan Mallett for the Heisman ballot.”

I e-mailed Lincoln’s campaign Tuesday to inquire as to whether she paid extra to say “ballot.” Did Lincoln only want Mallett to be on the ballot? Did she not want him actually to win the Heisman?

So Lincoln’s press office replied as follows: “Senator Lincoln is as excited as any Razorback fan for the new season and wanted to show her support for the team and our star quarterback. I know I don’t have to tell you that Mallett rhymes with ballot.”

Well, OK. The dictionary says a rhyme is a repetition of similar sounds. There’s a similarity. But, if you say these words correctly, “Mallett” and “ballot” don’t provide for an exact rhyme — “et” as compared to “ot.”

It’s hardly a vital-enough rhyme to warrant spending extra from your special-interest donations for the additional lettering. In that regard, Lincoln’s campaign spokesman refused to discuss the cost of the banner or whether the number of words or letters was a variable.

Perhaps that’s because the matter speaks poorly of Lincoln in the area of fiscal conservatism.

As to the premature nature of touting Mallett for the Heisman, I would point out that he and the Hogs will confront tough opponents this year mixed in with the patsies of Tennessee Tech and Houston Nutt.

So, then, on Tuesday, Boozman availed himself of his oddly anemic fundraising (he leads by 30 points, but idles on raising money) to unveil a TV spot in which he brags on himself for having played for the football Razorbacks. He lettered in the offensive line in 1971 and 1972.

This was a fumble, actually. The University of Arkansas objected to the use of an image of Razorback Stadium in Boozman’s background in the ad, fearing it might suggest that this school with an agricultural extension service was opposed to the person who, for a few more months, will be chairman of the Senate Agriculture Committee. So Boozman’s campaign pulled the ad, while insisting it had attended to permission though plainly it hadn’t.

Let us analyze the ad anyway: The offensive line of the Hogs is where, Boozman says, he learned to “stand my ground, hold the line,” in just the way, you see, that he’ll presumably stand his ground and hold the line against Barack Obama and Nancy Pelosi and any other coastal or upper Midwestern Democratic liberal with a name ending in a vowel who polls poorly in Arkansas.

Actually, the Hogs of Boozman’s senior year in 1972 ended the season 6-5 even with a passing quarterback named Joe Ferguson.

I’m not sure how much line Boozman was holding or ground he was standing in a 35-15 loss to Texas or a 23-20 loss to … Rice.

Rice?

Actually, they tell me that centers, other offensive linemen like Boozman and quarterbacks tend on average to demonstrate higher intellectual aptitude than performers at other football positions.

Perhaps we should pay attention, then, when Boozman says in this commercial: “I’ll balance the budget.”

He doesn’t say he’ll try to balance the budget. He doesn’t say he’ll work with somebody else to do it. He says he’ll do it.

We may not have any choice but to elect him. The nation would never forgive us for denying it the services of the one man who, acting alone, could erase hundreds of billions of dollars in government red ink.

Wooo pig, indeed.

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John Brummett is a columnist for the Arkansas News Bureau in Little Rock. His e-mail address is jbrummett@arkansasnews.com; his telephone number is (501) 374-0699.